One of the hardest changes that can happen during the last weeks of life is what is often called “withdrawal.” Family members sometimes feel their loved one is “turning away,” or they have somehow become less important to the dying patient. It is more likely that your loved one is simply feeling the need to say less, and finding the right words and the energy to have long conversations may feel too difficult.

There is a kind of withdrawal going on for your loved one, but it is not a withdrawal from your love. It may be helpful and comforting to think of it as a letting go of the things of the outside world. For most people, this is a natural part of what needs to happen for patients to be at peace in their last days.

Our experience tells us that it still matters to your loved one very much that you are there. It’s likely that hearing remains intact to the end of life, so we encourage family members to continue to speak to their loved ones in their normal tone. It’s good practice to assume that even if she appears to be sleeping or non-responsive, your loved one can always hear what is going on in the room.

This is a wonderful time to talk about favorite memories, to express love and thanks, to share meaningful memories you have in common.